Chance
by Brandywine421
Summary: One-shot. Kirsten runs into someone at the mall.
1. 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related.  
AN: This is a simple **one-shot**. It's almost Chrismukkah so I wanted to get this evil little plot bunny out of my head._

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"Teresa…its Ryan. Wanted to wish you a merry Christmas. Hope everything's okay…" Ryan closed his phone and let out the breath he'd been holding. It was a week until Christmas and Seth's 'Chrismukkah spirit' was in full swing.

This year was definitely different from last year. He'd forced himself to be happier this year and he had genuinely felt better. He'd left his past behind and started fresh. Really fresh this year.

But Chrismukkah was seriously bringing him down. He needed to brood. Teresa…something wasn't right. She'd moved and her mother had finally given him a cellular phone number today when he'd called. He'd closed off the Chino summer in his mind, letting it drift as a faded memory. Newport was his life. Self-absorbed Seth and school, that's all he could focus on without drowning in guilt and self-doubt. He was an honorary Cohen, he had to act like it. Nothing was supposed to keep him down. The Nana was beating cancer, Sandy was saving Caleb, Kirsten was tackling Julie Cooper and Seth, well, Seth was still on his crusade to bring Chrismukkah to the world.

"Ryan. Your brother, or whatever, is insane," Lindsay said, stepping into the poolhouse.

"Seth?"

"'Chrismukker?'"

"'Chrismukkah'. And yes, he's a little insane," Ryan smiled. Lindsay was fun. And cute. And nice. She listened to him and really seemed to enjoy his company. "What's up?"

"Bored. What are you doing today?"

"Napping," Ryan replied, sprawling out on the bed. "Been looking forward to it since the last bell rang at school."

She stared at him. "Well, I'm still bored. Let's do something. What about the beach?"

"The beach."

"Sure. We should appreciate where we live. Where else in the country can you go to the beach at Christmas?" She asked.

Ryan got up and started gathering his beach gear. "It's not Christmas here. At least in front of Seth, it's 'Chrismukkah'. It'll save us both a lecture, I promise.

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Kirsten's bags were heavy and she didn't see the girl until she'd already made contact. "Oh, excuse me…Teresa?"

Teresa was even more startled. "Mrs. Cohen…"

But Kirsten was staring at her rounded stomach. "Teresa…Ryan said…"

"He didn't lie. I did. I did it for his own good…" Teresa whispered.

"You told him you lost the baby?"

"He was so unhappy…so tired…I needed to let him go. Please don't tell him."

"Teresa? Everything okay?" A gruff voice asked from behind them.

"Fine. Can you go get the car?" Teresa asked, lowering her gaze and not meeting Kirsten's piercing eyes.

Kirsten recognized Eddie immediately.

"Mrs. Cohen. Nice to see you. How's Ryan?" Eddie asked.

"Fine. I'll let him know you asked," Kirsten replied coldly, still staring at Teresa.

"Mrs. Cohen…" Teresa started.

"Tell Ryan I appreciate him looking out for Teresa like that." He kissed Teresa's cheek. "I'll get the car."

Kirsten watched him walk away.

"Please, Mrs. Cohen, it would kill Ryan…you can't tell him…"

"If you're having his baby…" Kirsten started.

Teresa was crying softly. "He doesn't deserve this…I mean…god, this was so hard…I can't make him give up his life for me…" She wiped her face. "I love Ryan, I'll love him for the rest of my life and I've always wanted him to be the father of my children…he's not cruel like my father or his mother…he's a pure soul. I don't want to be what ruined his life…" Teresa took her hand. "Please. I am begging you. Don't tell him."

Kirsten was too shell-shocked to react. "Eddie…"

"Eddie's going to AA and to counseling. He's serious about the baby…"

"Does he know it could be Ryan's?"

"No," Teresa whispered.

"Teresa…" Kirsten had so many conflicting emotions running through her head that she couldn't focus.

"My mom knows this is the right thing. She knows this is for the best. I have to go. I hope you'll make the right decision…Ryan belongs with you, not with me…"

Kirsten stood, frozen as Teresa walked away.

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"Sandy?" All the way home from the mall, she'd wanted her husband. He'd know what to do. Whether or not to tell Ryan that Teresa was still pregnant. That she was back with Eddie. Of course, telling him that would almost certify his exit, Ryan Atwood was not one to walk away from something like that, he'd proven it all summer. He'd be devastated and knowing that Teresa didn't want to see him would probably send him into a tailspin.

"Hey, honey. Done shopping? Where are all the bags?" Sandy smiled and closed the folder on his desk.

"In the car," Kirsten said, closing the door to his office behind her as she walked in.

"What's wrong?" Sandy could read her immediately.

Kirsten looked at Sandy. She looked at the picture of Seth and Ryan on his desk. She heard Seth and Ryan laughing through the door.

She knew what she had to do. For her family.

"Nothing, honey. I missed you so much today…" She embraced Sandy and held him tight.


	2. 2

_AN: So my one-shots don't stay one-shots, I'm sorry. Here's chapter two._

* * *

Something was wrong with his wife.

For the past three nights, he'd woken up with Kirsten standing by the window staring at the poolhouse.

She swore it was nothing but he knew his wife. Something was eating at her. Something that was bigger than Caleb's case which meant it was pretty damn big.

"When are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" Sandy asked quietly. She jumped from her spot by the window.

"I'm just not sleeping well…" She replied, returning to bed. He watched her settle back against the pillow, turning her back to him.

"Honey…"

"It's nothing. I promise…" She whispered.

He ran his hand down her arm and took her hand. "You can tell me anything, Kirsten…"

She turned to him suddenly and he saw that she had tears on her cheeks. "I can't…I…I don't know what to do…"

Sandy was surprised as she wrapped her arms around him and clung to him, burying her face in his chest. "I saw someone at the mall the other day when I was shopping…" She whispered, holding him.

He waited but she didn't continue. He started to rub her back soothingly.

"I just see him and he's so happy…he's finally happy…he's so smart, so relaxed, he's got such a bright future ahead of him…and I remember him from this summer, he was so tired, so stressed out and silent…"

"Kirsten, did you see Dawn?" Sandy realized that she was talking about Ryan.

"No, Sandy…" She pulled away and looked at him. "I saw Teresa. A very pregnant Teresa."

He stared at her.

"She lied to him, for his own good, she told him that she lost the baby so he could come home…she begged me not to tell him, but…but Ryan…he'd never forgive me, if that baby is his, if there's even a chance…he wouldn't want Eddie raising that child…"

"Eddie?"

"She's back with Eddie. He walked right up and told me to tell Ryan thanks for taking care of Teresa. He doesn't know that the baby could be Ryan's…"

Sandy was trying to process his wife's confession but he couldn't. Teresa lied to Ryan and went back to Eddie. Abusive, angry Eddie over hard-working, dependable Ryan. So Ryan could have a better life.

"Sandy? Sandy, say something…"

"Have you said anything to him?"

"No, I…I don't know if I should. She begged me, she swears he's better off…"

"Tomorrow, we'll go talk to her. We'll…we'll take care of everything…"

"Sandy…what do you…"

"We'll figure everything out before we go to him. We owe him that," Sandy whispered, pulling her close.

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"She's going to let you come to her next O.B. appointment?" Sandy's voice carried from the living room as Lindsay, Ryan and Seth walked in.

"She said that she'd cleared it with Eddie…" Kirsten answered.

Lindsay saw Ryan's face twist in realization a few moments before Seth turned to him. "What is it?" She asked.

"Dude, they can't mean…" Seth started.

Kirsten stepped in and paled. "Kids…Ryan…"

"What were you talking about?" Ryan asked.

"What…what did you hear?" She replied after a moment.

"Something about OB appointments and Eddie, Teresa's ex…" Seth answered.

Lindsay put her hand on Ryan's arm and felt his tension and emotion.

"Ryan…" Sandy called, stepping in.

"Oh god…it's true? She lied to me…she's still pregnant…" Ryan whispered, reading Sandy's face.

"Dad," Seth murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Seth, we need to talk to Ryan…" Kirsten said.

"You knew? You didn't tell me?" Ryan asked, his face drawn with hurt. He paced in a tense circle until Lindsay took his hand and stopped him.

"Let us explain," Sandy began.

"No," He shook his head.

"Come on," Lindsay whispered, leading him toward the door.

"You shouldn't have done this," Seth said, following them out.

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Lindsay wrapped Ryan's fingers around the cold bottle and he finally accepted it with a slight nod. He was sitting on the carpet of her room with his head leaning against her bed. She wished there was something she could do for him but right now it seemed that he needed quiet. He was painfully quiet.

Seth was pacing in front of him.

"Seth, stop it. It's not helping," Lindsay said.

"He hasn't said a word in over an hour, I'll stop when he talks," Seth said quickly.

"Stop, Seth. Please," Ryan said quietly. Lindsay ran a hand through his hair. She wasn't sure of all the details of Ryan's summer but she knew enough to know that he was devastated by the Cohen's lie. He'd confided in her only recently about the pain he felt from finding out the Teresa had lost the child. She couldn't imagine how much he was hurting.

"Dude, thank god…" Seth's phone buzzed and he glanced at the display. Seth had been frantic with concern for Ryan and his parents had been calling almost every five minutes.

"What? Your parents again?" She asked, sensing something different about Seth's reaction.

"The 909," Seth answered, holding the phone out to Ryan.

Ryan flipped it open. "Hello?"

Seth pulled Lindsay into the hallway but he left the door open. If Lindsay had any doubt about how upset Ryan was, all she had to do was look at Seth.

"So, it's true…you lied…for my own good? Lies don't help anyone, Teresa…"

There was a long pause and when Ryan spoke again, his voice was laced with emotion. "I'd do anything for you, how could you do this? Don't say you love me, not after this…"

Lindsay started to go to him, unable to stand the agony in his voice but Seth stopped her.

"I want to know. I deserve to know. I won't let Eddie…I have a right to know. You owe me that."

Ryan stepped out and handed Seth his phone.

"You okay?" Seth asked.

"No." Ryan embraced Lindsay and sighed, looking at Seth. "Would you have told me?"

"What?" Seth asked.

"If you knew…"

"How can you ask me that? I might not have agreed with you for leaving, but I know how important that kid was to you," Seth replied.

"Thanks," Ryan said, nodding. "I…your parents are the first people I've trusted in a really long time…how could they lie about something like this?"

"Maybe you should talk to them," Lindsay said.

"I…I can't. I need to think…I need some quiet…" Ryan said.

"Stay here," Lindsay said immediately. "I'll tell my mom…"

"I think I need to be alone. For a while."

"You have no car, no money," Seth said. He shook his head. "I don't think you should be alone."

"Seth," Ryan whispered his name and Seth finally met his gaze with a solemn expression.

"I don't think you should be alone," Seth repeated. Lindsay watched the power struggle with interest.

"I need to be alone, Seth. I'll be okay…I'm not going to do anything stupid," Ryan said.

Seth finally nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a twenty. "Here, in case you need it. Call me every two hours, okay?"

"I will. Thanks." Ryan kissed Lindsay gently and turned and left in a rush.

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"Ryan? What…what are you doing here?"

Ryan glanced over and recognized Jimmy Cooper. "Mr. Cooper…"

"You're drinking. I didn't know you drank," Jimmy said. The glass of dark liquor was sitting untouched in front of Ryan.

"I don't," Ryan shrugged.

"Does Sandy or Kirsten know you're here?" Jimmy asked, glancing around the darkened bar.

Ryan didn't reply, simply glaring at Jimmy.

"Yeah, I guess that is a stupid question. What's going on?" Jimmy asked. "Is everything okay?"

"I'll get out of your way," Ryan said, his gaze flickering over Jimmy's shoulder.

Jimmy turned around and saw Julie waving at him from across the room. Her face fell when she recognized Ryan.

"It's not what you think," Jimmy said, flushing.

"It's none of my business. And I'm an old hand at keeping Julie's secrets," Ryan muttered, tossing a bill on the table and leaving in a rush.

"What did he say, Jimmy?"

"I'm going to call his folks…"

Julie's eyes were locked on the swinging door. "Maybe you should just let it go. So he doesn't say anything…"

Jimmy shook his head at her. "If it were Marissa…you'd want Sandy or Kirsten to call us."

Julie pursed her lips. "Okay. Don't mention me…just tell them you saw him."

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Sandy knew that he had betrayed Ryan. Ryan had heard too many lies, too many false promises in his life and he trusted them. And they betrayed him.

He should have told him. He should have trusted Ryan enough to know that he could handle it. He shouldn't have lied.

They'd talked to Teresa, agreed that Ryan didn't need to know until they knew the baby's paternity.

It was a bad idea. Seeing Ryan's face today when he heard them talking, that was…it'd looked like he'd physically hit the boy. Ryan was distraught.

And now he was gone. Sure, Seth was with him, Lindsay was with him, but he should be here, letting Sandy explain it to him, letting Kirsten explain it to him.

Kirsten had retreated into the bedroom, still insisting on calling Seth's phone every few minutes despite the fact that Seth hadn't answered. Whatever made her stop crying was enough.

Sandy was waiting in the kitchen. He'd want to spot Ryan in case he snuck across the patio without coming inside. He had to talk to him. If he had to hold him down to get him to listen, he would. He would not lose Ryan again. Not like this.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he put it to his ear immediately. "Hello?"

"Hey."

"Ryan…thank god…where are you?"

"I…I don't want to tell you that…I need some time…to myself. I…I hope you can understand that." Ryan's voice was dead and dull. He was distant.

"I want to talk to you. We have to talk, Ryan…"

"I know. And we will…I…I'm just really tired. I don't think you'd want me to come back there tonight…I…you kind of messed me up, Sandy…"

"I…I'm sorry."

"Me, too. I'll be home tomorrow…"

"Where are you staying?"

"I'm okay, Sandy. I'll send Seth home."

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Lindsay and Seth were sitting on the front porch when Ryan walked around the corner, his shoulders slumped and his gaze locked on the ground.

"Hey…" She whispered, meeting him on the sidewalk and wrapping her arms around him.

"Hey…"

"Better?" She asked.

"A little. Can I…can I crash here tonight? I don't really want to go home," Ryan murmured.

"I already talked to my mom. She won't tell them as long as you go home tomorrow. You have to face them…" Lindsay said.

"I know…" Ryan nodded.

"You all right, man?" Seth asked, approaching.

"I'll be all right. Will you come pick me up tomorrow? I promised your dad I'd send you home," Ryan admitted.

"Yeah, of course. Call me first thing, okay?" Seth said. He slapped hands with Ryan, giving him a loose hug. He turned to Lindsay. "Call me…if you guys need anything or you decide to run away to Mexico or anything, I totally want in…"

"Thanks, Seth. We'll call you…" Lindsay promised, putting an arm around Ryan's waist and leading him inside.

"You're sure your mom doesn't…"

"She trusts me," Lindsay said. "But you have to relax, okay? I'm not going to make you talk to me…unless you think it'll help."

"I…" He started as she closed the door to her bedroom. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Everyone has been lying to me…"

"I know the feeling," Lindsay said, sympathetically.

"I…I never thought the Cohens would do something like this…Lie to me like this…I…"

"You need to relax. Where'd you go?" She asked. She sat down beside him on the bed and pulled him across her lap.

"I walked. I went into this…bar but I didn't drink anything. I mean, it wouldn't make anything any clearer…and…nothing's helping me figure out what I'm supposed to do now…who I'm supposed to trust…" Ryan whispered.

"Trust me…okay? Trust me…" She said, stretching out with him and holding him tightly. When he started to cry, she rocked him gently until his short breaths settled into sleep.

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Seth rolled over and absently answered his beckoning phone. "Hello?"

"Seth. It's Lindsay. I'm going to drive Ryan home, okay?"

"Is he all right?" Seth asked, the previous night's events coming back to him suddenly.

"He had a long night. But he's okay. He's calmer today. He's ready to talk to your folks. Are they home?"

"I'm still in bed. They were both gone to bed last night when I got home…" Seth scrambled to the door and down the stairs, peeking out the front window. "Both cars here. Tell him it's a full house."

"Thanks, Seth. We'll be there shortly. "

Seth closed his phone and turned, jumping as his mother surprised him.

"Was that Ryan?"

"He's on his way home," Seth replied.

"How…how is he?"

"He'll be fine as soon as you explain to him why you lied," Seth responded.

"We…we made a mistake…"

"Mom…I want Ryan here as much as you and Dad do…but he was really upset about the baby. Like, I know he didn't talk about it and he didn't show it…but I saw him walk to the beach every night for the first two weeks he was home, I know how much it hurt him…he couldn't even go back to get his things from her place…" Seth said.

"It was a mistake."

"How long have you known?"

"A few days. Almost a week. Sandy didn't even know until a couple of days ago…"

"I heard him talking to Teresa…he's just…he's really upset, Mom. I hope you and Dad can fix this," Seth said.


	3. 3

"I'll be okay. Thanks for…thanks for everything, Lindsay," Ryan said, holding her in a hug beside her car.

"Call me later?"

"Yeah. You…you're being really great about all this," Ryan said as she pulled away.

"I don't like seeing you like this. I'd like to help…call me, Ryan," she said, kissing him chastely before climbing back into her car.

Ryan took a deep breath and walked up the steps to the front door. He stepped inside and leaned heavily against the door.

"Hey. You want me to come with?" Seth offered from the top of the stairs.

"Um…no. Just…just come out later, okay? I know you'll be listening…but this is kind of about me, so…I have to do it myself," He said.

"All right, man," Seth said. "But I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks." Ryan walked into the kitchen. Kirsten glanced up from her coffee and immediately flushed red.

"Sandy," She said, startling her husband from his newspaper beside her. Sandy gave Ryan a tense smile as he lowered the paper.

"Hey. Sorry about taking off…" Ryan said quietly.

"Where were you?" Sandy asked as Ryan sat down across from them at the opposite end of the counter.

"I stayed at Lindsay's," Ryan answered.

"Honey…" Kirsten started but Ryan shook his head at her, lowering his gaze immediately.

"Ryan, we've only known a few days…we wanted to get our facts straight before…" Sandy started.

"Don't pretend like you were going to tell me. Please…" He whispered, shaking his head.

"I saw Teresa at the mall a week ago. She was with Eddie…she begged me not to tell you…" Kirsten replied.

"So…her begging…it means more to you than I do? I mean…you'd listen to her over me?" Ryan asked.

"No, honey…" Kirsten started, tears springing to her eyes already as she senses the hurt in his words.

"It's not just her decision to make, there's a child involved, a baby…she says she's doing all this for me, but it's not what's right for the baby…not if it's my baby…if it's Eddie's, then maybe it's right…but…she shouldn't have lied…neither should you…"

"Ryan, you're too young for this much responsibility…" Sandy started.

"I wasn't too young this summer. You trusted me to do the right thing all summer, you didn't even ask me to come home until Seth came back, don't tell me that I can't handle the responsibility. I paid her bills this summer, I took her to the doctors, I supported her…I did everything that I was supposed to do…"

"You were miserable," Kirsten interrupted.

"Is that what she told you? That I was unhappy? God…like that's ever mattered to her before. She knew when she asked me to come with her that I'd be unhappy, she knew that I was happy here when she fucking asked me to go with her," Ryan snapped. "I don't know why she would do this for me…"

"She was trying to do what was best for you," Sandy whispered.

"What's best for me? What about what's best for the baby? I can't believe this…I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I don't need you or Teresa making them for me…" Ryan replied.

"We made a mistake. We should have told you but…" Kirsten started.

"But? No, no buts, Kirsten. You should have told me," Ryan stated.

"Yes. We should have told you…" Sandy whispered.

"You guys…you guys have done so much for me…you probably saved my life getting me out of Chino…but this…I…I don't know what to say. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again…this is wrong…"

"Ryan…"

"I want a paternity test once the baby's born. I don't want to talk about it again until then. Teresa…she made her choice. She doesn't want me to be a father to this child and if…if it's not mine, then she won't ever have to see me again. But if this baby's mine…I'm not walking away from it. I'll be in my room," Ryan stated flatly, walking out of the kitchen toward the poolhouse.

"That was…that was worse than I expected…" Kirsten whispered.

"I'll talk to him…I'll make him understand," Sandy said, standing up.

"Dad. Don't. Give him some time," Seth said, walking in. "You owe him that at least."

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"Is he here?" Teresa was standing on the front porch when Kirsten opened the door.

"He's in the poolhouse. You've talked to him?"

"A little. He's…he's pretty upset."

She nodded.

"He…he overheard us talking, Teresa. We didn't mean for any of this to happen…"

"It's my fault. I should…I should've told him the truth. Can I see him?"

"You know where to go," Kirsten allowed her inside.

Teresa walked toward the poolhouse. She'd make him understand. Why she lied. Why she went back to Eddie. Why he had to walk away. She'd make him understand.

He opened the door before she had a chance to knock.

"Ryan…"

He didn't speak, simply stepping aside so she could walk in.

"Ryan…" But as she turned to face him, she saw that she had lost him. His eyes were cold. He'd always forgiven her, he'd always been there for her, but she'd broken that trust. "Ryan…we have to talk."

"I'm listening."

"I…I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought you'd be better off, I had no idea that you'd…"

"That I'd find out that you lied? That I'd find out that you didn't want me to be a part of your baby's life? How could you pretend to lose the baby?" His blue eyes kept flickering to her swollen stomach.

"I didn't know what else to do, you were miserable with me…"

"Teresa. I was there because you needed me…" Ryan said, shaking his head.

"I shouldn't have asked you, you should have never come…" Teresa said.

"Why, so you'd be happy and domestic with Eddie? Does he make you happier than I did? Is he going to be the father that your baby deserves?" Ryan snapped. "You'd rather be with Eddie than have me in the baby's life?"

She had to make him stop. She slapped him and he froze, not moving. Finally, he took a step back and held his hands up in surrender.

"I…I'm sorry…" She whispered. "I…"

"I'm sorry, too. Why don't you tell me what you came here to say and I'll listen," He said with a flat voice.

"I shouldn't have…"

"Why are you here, Teresa?"

"I did it for you. So you could finally have what you deserve, a new life, a good life with a family that loves you, with people that care about you…" She started, pausing as she saw a flash of pure hurt on his face. "Ryan…"

"You've made your decision. I'm out of your life. You got what you wanted, so why are you here?" Ryan whispered.

"You think this is what I wanted? You hating me?" She gasped

"You've made your decision, Teresa. Nothing I say is going to make a difference," he clipped.

"Ryan…you belong here. You shouldn't be stuck in Chino supporting a baby you don't want, a girl you don't love…"

"Don't tell me what I want and don't tell me who I love," Ryan whispered. "That's not your place. You've decided everything for me, you didn't talk to me about it, you never asked what I wanted…stop saying that you did this for me. You did this for yourself."

"Ryan…"

"You asked me to come with you to Chino. You asked me to help you…"

"It was a mistake…" She started.

"Tell me the truth, Teresa. For once…tell me the truth…" Ryan whispered. "Is it mine?"

She froze.

"You know, don't you? You know…"

"It's not yours."

His face was blank.

"I didn't know I was pregnant when I came to Sandy for help…I didn't…but I did the math…" She stammered, walking toward him. He stepped back before she could reach him.

"I think you should leave," he whispered.

"Ryan, please…"

"I think you should leave," he repeated.

"Ryan. We've known each other too long for this to…"

"You lied to me. You know better than anyone…you lied, Teresa. When the baby's born…I still want a paternity test. You don't have to tell Eddie, you can keep up your story as long as you want, but for my own peace of mind…I want a test. Will you do that for me?"

She nodded, tears streaming down her face. "Ryan…I didn't want it to be like this…"

He turned his back on her.

"I…I'll call you, Ryan…"

"Call me when the baby's born. Better yet, call Sandy," he murmured. She stepped closer and put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't…" he whispered. "Just go."

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Seth walked out to the poolhouse later that afternoon. He knocked softly on the door. Sandy and Kirsten were sitting on the patio but he didn't acknowledge them. He knew they were keeping a close eye on Ryan.

"Yeah? Hey, Seth…"

"Hey, man. Heard you had a visitor. You okay?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I was about to go see Lindsay. Work on some homework…" Ryan said, distracted. He didn't look up from the magazine he was reading.

"We're on break until the new year, man…"

Ryan didn't seem to hear him. "Yeah…"

"Dude?" Seth waited until Ryan looked up at him from the bed. "What's up?"

"I…I need to get out of here. I need to be away from this family for a while. You think your parents will fight me?"

"Depends," Seth said carefully. "When you say 'a while'…"

"I mean, a few hours. They've been camped out on the patio since Teresa left. I don't think I can take another serious discussion today. I…I need to get out of here."

"Can I come with? Take your mind off things?" Seth offered.

"Yeah. If you can get me out of here without it getting sticky…" Ryan said. "But I can't promise that I'm going to be real social today…"

"I'll drop you off at Lindsay's, man. I have to work tonight at the club, why don't you bring her by?" Seth said.

"That's cool. Thanks," Ryan agreed.

"Get your stuff together, I'll fend off the parents," Seth said.

Ryan was clearly relieved but his face was still clouded with tension.

"Man…are you sure you're all right?"

"No, man. I'm totally not all right. Everyone I know has been lying to me," Ryan replied. "I just have to remember what that's like…"

"I'll be right back," Seth said. "Call Lindsay. Tell her we're on the way."

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"Ryan? I was all about being supportive and letting you have your quiet…but this is getting to be a little much for me," Lindsay whispered. Seth had dropped him off three hours earlier and he'd barely said anything. He was curled up on the bed with his head resting in her lap. She loved being close to him but she knew he wasn't sleeping.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"What happened today?"

"Teresa came to see me."

"Teresa…how…how'd that go?"

"Not good. She slapped me…" he murmured, not opening his eyes.

"She hit you? Oh, Ryan…" Lindsay whispered.

"She says it's not mine. She says she knows, that she's done the math…" he says, sitting up slowly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm so tired of all the lies…Teresa lies to get me to come to Chino…she lies to get me to leave…Sandy and Kirsten lie to get me to stay here…I just thought they were different…I thought Teresa was different, all this time, all the years I've known her…she's never lied like this…" Ryan said. "I trusted her…I trusted them…"

"I know…but they thought they were doing the right thing…"

"The right thing? Lindsay, you know first hand how much lies can hurt people…how could they do that to me after they saw what it'd done to you?" Ryan asked.

"So, you don't lie? Like, ever?" Lindsay replied. "I'm not saying its right, I just want you to see both sides."

Ryan sighed. He remembered his encounter with Julie and Jimmy the night before. If they were back together, then Caleb would be pretty upset. Marissa would be happy. But Jimmy didn't know everything about Julie, either. Julie had messed Luke's head up pretty bad and if he had come clean about that, Ryan doubted that Jimmy would be mixed up with her now. It was a chain reaction.

"Ryan? I don't mean to make you angry…" Lindsay said when he didn't respond.

"No, no, you've been great, I was just thinking," Ryan replied with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry I'm being like this…"

"Its fine, Ryan. You stood by me when I was having my emotional crisis. This is just payback…right?" She asked, leaning in for a gentle kiss.

"Right…" he answered, returning her kiss.

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Seth smiled widely when Ryan and Lindsay walked into the club. "Hey, guys. You made it…"

Ryan patted him on the back with a slight grin. "Yeah, we did. Thanks for the invite…"

"You're always on the list here, man, if it wasn't for your hatred of live music, we'd have ourselves a hang-out," Seth teased.

"I'm going to go grab some sodas, I'll be right back," Lindsay said, rolling her eyes at Seth.

"Dude," Seth grinned. He was looking at Ryan with mischievous eyes.

"What?" Ryan asked, wary.

"You have a hickey, like, spanning the length of your neck," Seth said, tugging on Ryan's collar.

"Damn…"

"I must try this studying technique that you speak of," Seth laughed, finally satisfied that he'd disguised the love mark.

"Thanks," Ryan said.

"So. You're looking better…"

"I talked to Lindsay about everything…"

"Are you going to talk to Mom and Dad? You were pretty harsh on them today…not saying that they didn't deserve it…but I know that they're worried about you…"

Ryan nodded, meeting Seth's gaze. "Worried that I'll leave again?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not leaving, Seth. I don't have anywhere else to go," Ryan answered.

"That's not really a reason for staying," Seth replied.

"You guys…you're like my family now. I don't just walk away from my family. I didn't when I went to Chino, I still called and came by…I don't walk away from my family, Seth," Ryan spoke quietly.

"Okay, man…" Seth said, startled.

Lindsay returned and held out a cup for Ryan. He put his arm around her, relaxing slightly. "What's up?"

"Nothing. We're here to relax. We'll be upstairs, Seth, come see us on your break," Ryan said, leading Lindsay away.

Seth watched him go. He knew how much his parents had hurt him but he didn't know how it would ever be the same. Ryan now was a completely different person than last year and they finally seemed to be real friends that respected each other. Seth didn't want to lose Ryan again. He'd told him the truth when he said that he would have told Ryan if he'd found out about Teresa, but inside, he knew that he would have wrestled with it just as much as his parents did. He was selfish. He wanted Ryan here, with him. But he also knew that he would have had to tell Ryan. Ryan hated lies. Seth wanted to make it better but he knew that it would just take time.


	4. 4

Seth told Alex that he needed a break and joined Lindsay and Ryan upstairs at their table. Lindsay was laughing at something Ryan was whispering in her ear and Seth was pleased to see that Ryan was relaxing.

"Hey, Seth. You're done now?" Lindsay asked.

"Nah, I have to work until one but I've got a half hour or so to hang out with you guys," Seth said, setting a couple of cups of soda on the table for them.

"Thanks, Seth. I've got to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back," Ryan said, getting up.

"So, 'auntie', how is he?" Seth asked.

She glared at him but sighed. "He's all right. Better. He was really quiet today…after Teresa left. Your parents really hurt his feelings…but I think she hurt him more. He's known her longer…they must have a pretty deep history…"

"I don't know. Ryan doesn't talk about stuff…pre-Newport."

"I sort of get that. I mean, he never talks about his mom or dad…" Lindsay replied.

"I asked him if he was going to stay…he told me that he doesn't walk away from his family…he considers my parents and me to be his family now…but it's like he sort of has walked away from his other family…from his mom and his brother…" Seth said. "I'm not sure how to take it…"

"You should probably ask him. And it's not like he walked away from them…they walked away from him, didn't they?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah. That's true…but you think he's okay?" Seth asked.

"Seth. I'm okay. Stop stressing," Ryan said, returning and sitting down beside Lindsay.

"Sorry. I just thought…are you sure that everything's okay? I mean, what did Teresa say, what did she have to say for herself?" Seth asked, unable to keep his curiosity at bay any longer.

"I…she doesn't think the baby's mine. I didn't ask her how long she'd known…she says she was doing what was right for me…" Ryan sighed, his mood darkening immediately. "I told her that I didn't want to see her again until after the baby was born, that she could contact Sandy and arrange a paternity test…"

"I'm sorry, man…"

"I'm going to talk to your parents tomorrow. Not tonight, though…I'm just too tired to make much sense…"

"But you're staying at home tonight?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. I don't know how Lindsay's mom would react to me asking for another sleepover, especially with this hickey on my neck," Ryan replied, putting an arm around Lindsay.

Lindsay rolled her eyes and caught Seth's attention. "You should see where I have hickeys and he's complaining…"

"Hey," Ryan laughed, tickling her. Seth laughed at their easy relationship.

"So, Seth, how's Alex doing?" Lindsay asked.

"We're…not dating anymore. We're strictly coworkers," Seth replied.

"Yeah?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow.

Seth shook his head with a grin and lowered his voice. "Nah, that's just what we're supposed to say at work, the owner caught us in the storeroom today…"

"Ouch," Ryan smiled.

"He was pretty cool about it, but told us to keep it quiet and if we're fighting that we should leave it out of the club," Seth shrugged.

"Sounds like a good idea," Lindsay agreed.

"Hey, guys. What's going on? I called your house earlier and your parents sound like somebody died," Marissa walked up with DJ on her arm.

"Nothing, they're just…moody," Seth answered.

"Can we sit?" DJ asked, looking at Ryan for permission.

Ryan shrugged. He was friends with Marissa now so he didn't mind. He was with Lindsay.

"So, is everything okay?" Marissa was looking at Ryan. "My dad asked about you last night…"

"Yeah…I sort of, ran into him," Ryan answered.

"You did?" Seth asked. "Where?"

"I was…out. He was out, too. He must not have called the Cohens…" Ryan said, thoughtfully.

"But everything's okay?" Marissa asked.

"Things are a little…crazy right now. But everything's okay. It will be anyway," Lindsay answered when Ryan didn't. He pulled her closer to him with a grateful smile.

Marissa seemed satisfied. She stood up and reached for DJ. "Let's dance."

"I better get back and make sure everything's under control down there," Seth said, hearing a commotion from the door.

"You okay?" Lindsay asked quietly.

"Yeah. I am," He said, kissing her gently again.

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Ryan closed the front door quietly and walked into the living area where Kirsten and Sandy were watching TV.

"Hey," He said, nervously, leaning against the arm of the couch.

"Hey, Ryan. You're home…early," Sandy said, clearly surprised.

"Yeah. I'm pretty tired. So…I wanted to apologize. For being such an ass earlier…" Ryan started.

"I think we deserved it," Kirsten whispered.

"Yeah, well, I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you guys like that and I'm sorry…" He sighed.

"We should be apologizing to you, Ryan. This…it was a mistake. We made a mistake…" Sandy began.

"Let's just put it behind us, okay? I'm not planning on going anywhere, if that's what you're worried about…"

"What about Teresa? Did you talk to her?" Sandy asked.

"I mainly listened. I don't really want to talk about it. She's going to call you once the baby is born to arrange a paternity test," Ryan replied evenly.

"You…you agreed to that?" Kirsten asked, surprised.

"She doesn't want me to be a part of her life. I'm not going to fight with her. I'm tired of fighting. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I'll see you guys tomorrow," Ryan said, turning to leave.

"Ryan…you…you just said that you don't plan on going anywhere…but what about when you turn eighteen? Have we…have we lost you?" Sandy asked quietly.

Ryan hesitated. "I…I don't know. No?" He seemed surprised. "I mean…you guys are supposed to be my family. You thought you were doing what was right…I mean, at least you tried. Dawn…she never really tried. I…it just hurt a little to know that you'd lie to me…it's the one thing I can't deal with. But…I'm a hypocrite if I don't try and see both sides. I get that you guys were trying to do the right thing."

"Ryan…we are so sorry..." Kirsten said.

"I know. I'll see you guys tomorrow," Ryan said, making his exit.

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Ryan opened the door expecting Kirsten or Sandy to be outside wanting to talk more. He wasn't expecting Jimmy Cooper.

"Mr. Cooper…are you looking for…"

"I'm looking for you. Can we talk?" Jimmy asked.

"Um…okay. Come in," Ryan said, confused. "If this is about the other night…"

"No, it's not. Well, not completely. I wanted to apologize. I don't expect you to lie for me, I don't know what history you have with Julie…but I remember how you knew about Caleb blackmailing Marissa and I would never want to burden you with my secrets," Jimmy said.

"Oh…okay," Ryan said, even more confused as to why he was here.

"I've been thinking a lot about things. About…how my life has ended up where it has. How my decisions have affected my life…and I wanted to talk to you. About Marissa. And Teresa…"

"Teresa? Jimmy, what…"

Jimmy was clearly hesitant. "Julie and I…well, I guess you realize that we're…seeing each other. She said something the other day that struck me. She said that I married her because she was pregnant and that she married me because she loved me…"

Ryan was clearly surprised.

"And it's partially true. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but…I didn't love her the same way she loved me. I married her for the baby, for Marissa. I wanted her to have a father around…and we had a pretty good run of it, but…it was never a marriage. And our children suffered because of it…"

"Mr. Cooper…"

"So, I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing…because I know that losing that baby was really hard on you…" Jimmy admitted finally.

"I…I don't really know what to say…" Ryan said uncomfortably. Finally, he decided to tell him the truth. "Um…first off? Teresa lied about losing the baby. She lied about the baby being mine. She wanted me to come to Chino with her and help her with the baby. When it didn't work out, she told me that she lost it so I would leave. So no matter how I feel or felt about losing the baby, I don't really think it matters now."

"It does matter. Ryan, I respect you. You have had some crappy luck, but you're a good kid. A good man. I don't think you hear that enough. You've done so much for Marissa, and this family…I'd hate to have you second-guessing yourself," Jimmy said, clearly surprised by Ryan's confession.

"Thanks," Ryan said, startled.

"Teresa lied? God, man, that's…that's just awful," Jimmy said.

"Yeah. She said she did it because she loved me. But…lies don't help anything, Jimmy. They only make things worse…more complicated."

Jimmy nodded. "You think I should tell Marissa about me and Julie?"

"I think you owe her that much. But…but I can't tell you what to do," Ryan said. "She's a big girl. She can handle it."

Jimmy was studying Ryan carefully. "What do you know about Julie, Ryan?"

Ryan hesitated.

"You just told me that lies only make things more complicated," Jimmy said.

"Will it change the way you feel about her? I mean…after all this shit that's happened, Kirsten and Sandy keeping Teresa's secret from me and Teresa lying about everything…it's changed the way I feel about them, about everything. So…I don't think you really want to know," Ryan replied honestly.

"I do. I need to know. If I'm seriously going to walk this road with Julie…you think I should know, I can see it on your face," Jimmy said.

"She slept with Luke. For a few weeks, at least. He loved her, he was on his way to see her when he had his accident. He left because he couldn't stand to be around her," Ryan stated flatly.

"Luke? Marissa's…" Jimmy was pale.

"Marissa knows. It's one of the reasons she hates her mother so much," Ryan said.

Jimmy nodded. "Does…does anyone else know?"

"Seth and Summer know. The Cohens don't know. Neither does Caleb."

"I…thank you for telling me, Ryan."

"So. Does it change the way you feel?" Ryan asked.

"Not the way I feel. I love her," Jimmy said. "Nothing's ever going to change that. But I…I realize that we'll never be able to be together. I won't…I won't tell her that you told me. I'm not going to even mention it…but I'm glad you told me."

Ryan nodded.

"Kirsten and Sandy love you, Ryan. I hope that you'll forgive them," Jimmy said.

"I do. I will…I just need some time to process everything."

"Good luck, kid," Jimmy said, patting him on the back.

"Yeah. You, too."

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"So. How're things today?" Seth asked, walking into the kitchen the next morning and joining his parents by the sink.

"Morning, Seth," Kirsten sighed.

"I take it that Ryan hasn't talked to you guys, yet," Seth replied.

"He talked to us last night. But I think it's going to be a while before he's really over it," Sandy said honestly.

"He'll get over it. He loves you guys. He…he just doesn't like lies. At all," Seth explained.

"We shouldn't have lied…" Kirsten said.

"But he knows that people make mistakes, too. Give him some time," Seth said.

Ryan walked in, yawning. "Coffee?"

"Of course," Sandy replied, moving from in front of the coffeemaker.

"Thanks," Ryan replied, grabbing a cup and pouring the coffee.

"So, buddy, what's on the agenda for today?" Seth asked.

"I need to finish up my shopping. Can we borrow the car?" Ryan turned to Kirsten.

"I have some appointments this morning, but I'll be done around noon," Kirsten answered quietly.

"Noon? We have to wait until noon?" Seth whined.

"That's fine for me," Ryan said, smirking at Seth's complaint. "Dude, we can walk to the comic book store. What else do you have to shop for?"

Seth was thoughtful. "Well…"

"See?" Ryan smirked. "Thanks, Kirsten."

"I guess we can wait until noon," Seth sighed dramatically. He walked around the counter and patted Ryan on the back. "Want to run some games until then?"

"Sure. Go plug up the PS2 and I'll be in after I eat something," Ryan nodded.

"Did you sleep well?" Kirsten asked, clearly nervous about Ryan's mood.

"Okay," Ryan shrugged.

"Well…if you ever want to talk to us again…we're here," she said quietly.

He smiled at her. "I know. Thanks."

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End file.
